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He was making a small cortado.

As the noisy coffee shop filled with NYU students seeking refuge from the rain, he looked up at me (very obviously not an NYU student) and said, “What are you up to today?”

I looked back him, inhaling a breath so big that it threatened to crush all the fear cells in my body at the moment. I swooshed it out and declared, “I’m writing a book.”

For the past three hours, I’d been sitting at this coffee shop attempting to write my book, Beyond Profit: The Successful Woman’s Guide to a Meaningful Life. Between 5 different PDFs from my mentor who challenged me to write this book by June 21, a bunch of notes I’ve been saving from different client sessions, and a blank Word document, I was on a mission.

But as I began to type any word, my body filled up with what felt like little red molecules with the word FEAR tattooed on them. They whispered,
“This is going to suck!”
“Who are you to write this?”
“None of your friends are even going to bother to read this!”

And on and on they hissed. I would take a big breath in and blow them all away with the exhale. The entire day was a repeat of this process: I’d write a few words, the FEAR molecules spread across my body, and I breathed and blew them away. Again, again, and again.

The truth is: fear is a bitch. And in this experience of writing a book, I have felt it.
I’ve met it.
I’ve sat with it.

When I finish this book, I’m sure I’ll say things like, “I wrote this book! I conquered fear! Fear can suck it.” But the truth is – writing this book, as is any endeavor that has the potential to maximize your power, your impact, and your significance, is riddled with fear and anxiety. Waves of it. Droves, even.

And all you can do is B R E A T H E through it.

Because before you conquer your fears, you have to sit with them. Conquering your fears does not exempt you from feeling them. Conquering your fear is happens when you have a series of opportunities to sit with fear, and you don’t run away from them.

So today, I want you to reflect on this:
What is one dream you’re willing to sit with fear for? When will you do it?

Leave your answer in the comments below – I read every response and sincerely look forward to connecting with you.

With love,
Alionka

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